The Dad With a Plan

  As Baby A’s due date approached, I admit one of my biggest fears was over that father-son bond that often comes so natural for birth parents. Would Baby A see me as a dad? Would he be scared of me? Would I feel that bond with him? Would I feel that he was my son? Or would there be a barrier in my brain that would keep me saying he’s my “adopted child?” It’s just one of those things you worry about. I had never been a parent before, adopted or otherwise. It wasn’t unexpected that I had all sorts of anxious fears swirling in my head, mixed up with all the excitement as well. I had read so much about adoption in 2021. I read medical and psychology pieces about adoption and forming bonds. I read tips on how to build on that, like skin-on-skin time. I also read many firsthand accounts from adopted dads. I read accounts from dads who felt that bond right away. And I read accounts from dads who didn’t feel it right away and had to work at it. And there’s no judgement there. They are...