The Dad With a Plan

I was recently asked by my friend what was the hardest part of the adoption process. I had to give it some thought. There were many aspects that I would describe as “challenging” and maybe “frustrating”. I hate to say “hard” only because that seems so negative towards what was the most rewarding process of our lives. But the waiting. The competition with other couples. Making difficult decisions about what we were willing to take on as parents. The financials. Sure, all of that was stressful. Sometimes it downright sucked. But, again, all part of such a rewarding process. But getting back to my friend’s question, I’d have to say the hardest part was keeping everything a secret. While some are very vocal about their plans and the process and shout it from the top of a mountain top the second they know, others remain much more private. Mums The Word After discussion, my wife and I had chosen to keep things private. We told a few select people. We told my parents and very select fam...

 Pretty much from the day you get married, you begin trying to conceive (TTC). The first few months are disappointing, but you know it takes a while sometimes. But a couple of months have suddenly become a year. “But, still, you’re only 29, you have plenty of time.” But soon the red lights and alarms are coming on. And before you know it, you’re in one doctors’ office after another. You are soon both being treated, ad individuals and as a couple. TTC Naturally becomes cycle upon cycle of In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). Daily painful injections. Intrusive tests. Battles with insurance providers. Getting up at 5 AM to drive an hour to the reproductive clinic for retrievals and transfers. Each cycle telling yourself “This is the one”, only for each cycle to either be unsuccessful for result in pregnancy loss. As the husband, you see your wife…your Queen…your best friend hurting. And you’re searching the universe for a way to ease her pain, while trying to acknowledge your own pain wit...